Good-bye, My Friend

It is with tremendously heavy hearts that Ashley and I made the excruciating decision to put down our dog Cali yesterday. For the past several months she had been suffering from severe arthritis, and we recently found out she had cancer in her back right leg. It is never an easy decision to make, but one that Ashley and I felt was the right thing to do.

I got Cali back in the Fall of 1998, and from the beginning, she was such an awesome dog. I tried to teach her how to swim, and at first she wasn't having any of it. So I had to get in the lake myself, and finally coaxed her to come in with me. After a few seconds struggling, she finally figured out how to use all four legs. It was just one example of how we would help each other over the years.

It's funny to think back on her life. There were so many funny moments. She was there for a lot of good times, and a few bad times too. She lived with me in Arizona, California, Texas, and now Colorado. Not too many dogs are so well-traveled.

One of her favorite things to do was chase after an aerobee frisbee. I'd roll it on the ground past her and she'd run after as fast as she could to get it, bringing it back like a loyal retriever is bred to do.

Almost a year ago, we noticed that Cali was having some trouble "holding it" before we took her out on walks. She would have accidents in the apartment here and there, and at first we weren't too worried about it. We sought the advice of a good friend who is a vet, and he told us that sometimes when dogs get older, they lose the ability to control themselves in that area and it's not uncommon for older dogs to have accidents. So for a while we were patient with Cali, knowing that she didn't mean to do what she was doing, and it always seemed like she was embarrassed when it would happen.

Back in November, we took her to the vet because I noticed a rather large growth on her back right leg. The vet initially thought it was just a benign growth, but after attempting to drain it, he thought it might be something more serious. Around Thanksgiving, he called with the test results and advised that it was in fact a cancerous lump on her back leg. At that point, Ashley and I both felt that it would cause her too much stress to do any type of surgery so we decided to just monitor her and make sure she still felt good.

In February, we began to see that Cali was having more and more trouble getting up and down our stairs of our apartment, along with not really moving too comfortably around our place. She would valiantly make the effort to go on walks, but they became increasingly more painful it seemed. Add to the that the more frequent accidents she was having in the house, we returned to the vet in Aurora for advice. He told us that Cali had two things going on: 1) she still had the cancer in her back leg that at some point may spread to other parts of her body and 2) she had the severe arthritis in her back legs. He prescribed one week's worth of medication, advising that it wasn't 100% that the drugs would work, that they may just make her feel a bit more comfortable. They did not really help her overall comfort level, so Ashley and I had to have another talk.

On Wednesday, March 23rd, Ashley and I sat down to talk about Cali. It's not a conversation I wish anyone to have. It's tough to talk about putting your family pet down, because she's so much more than a pet. She's a major part of the family. All aspects of our lives revolved around Cali. And on one hand, she seemed healthy and really wanted to go on walks, but at the same time it was really painful. So we decided that on Friday, March 25th, we would send her home.

My mom recently told me "True love is letting go." And I believe that. We were releasing her from her pain and sending her to a place where she could run free, and be with her Mom and Dad, and at the same time, be able to look down on us and watch over us.

So on Friday March 25th, I took Cali to meet with Ashley for lunch at the park we always go to. Cali seemed so content. How do you explain to a dog that they are going home? I tried to tell her, but tears got in the way. We just hugged her and told her how much we loved her.










Ashley got off work at 3:00, and we took Cali down to Aurora where the vet is located, and we took her to a park for one last walk.







We gave a her a few throws of the frisbee that she loved to chase so much, and then she brought it back and just lied with it around her neck, another thing she loved to do.




The vet called and told us he was back at the office. That was the toughest drive we've ever had to make. We got caught at a red light for two cycles and we felt like it was God giving us a few more minutes with Cali. I originally didn't want to be in the room with the vet but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that it was the right thing to do. I wanted Cali to know that we loved her and we were going to be with her telling her everything was going to be okay and that it was time for her to go. The vet could not have been more supportive of us. He gave us all the time we needed to say our goodbyes and we layed on the ground with Cali as she went home. She was so peaceful and through many tears, we said goodbye.

The company that comes to take Cali to her final resting place is called Whispering Winds, and I think that is such an awesome name. I now feel like anytime the wind blows, it's Cali whispering to me that she's okay and she's watching over us.

I'm not going to lie, we miss her really bad. And I'm sure it's going to feel like that for a while. But when the time is right, I know Cali will send us towards another dog to make part of our family. But just know that Cali is always going to part of our lives.

This morning when I woke up I went out to get the paper like I always do, and I decided that I wanted to go take a walk around the complex, like I did for so many years in the mornings when I took Cali on a walk. So I grabbed her chain and spent a few moments talking to her, telling her how much I love her and how much we miss her. I hope she found time to listen to me and wasn't too busy jumping into lakes upstairs.

We love you Cali. Always.